All of our immortals in the Errthe Books come from the planet Schkrapmerche and are referred to as Schkrapmerchants. They are naturally immortal. Actually, that’s not quite true – they do eventually die but by then they’ve outlived numerous star systems.

At the beginning of the first Errthe Book – Errthe I – In the Beginning – (good appropriate title that) they are all political prisoners who have been sentenced to exile on a new planet they will be expected to colonise.  Because they are political prisoners, rather than real criminals, and because the authorities don’t want any dissent or discord in their society, they are treated as pioneers and sent on their way with all the panoply of heroes going into battle.

However, they are not destined to travel very far because their spaceship has been sabotaged. And this is where the chaos begins. The saboteur is a bungling idiot who can’t get it right. He reprogrammes the astro-navigation computer with a recipe for hot buttered scones. The ship goes crazy and leaves the galaxy altogether, crossing the inter-galactic wastes and entering our Milky Way galaxy where it crash lands on the dark side of the Moon. They decide to rebuild the ship and fly across to a nearby blue planet in the hope of finding some khofi.

They build their base under the antarctic ice and several centuries pass during which they become increasingly bored. Then they find a race of semi-intelligent apes and this is where the troubles really being. They decide to speed up evolution with the intention of creating a new race they will become the gods to. God help us all.

Welcome to the Errthe Blog. I’d like to say this will be a regular thing – so I will – this will be a regular thing – there, I’ve said it. Alas, reality is out of joint and it will only be as regular as its own updates.

I’m not sure what we’ll put in here. If it’s good enough for the books then it will be in the books – ho hum. However, we could do profiles of the many characters and a league table where you could vote for your favourites. My own personal favourites are … all of them. You didn’t think I’d say any different did you? They are listening you know and I have many arguments with them when I write something they don’t like. They will tell me in no uncertain terms –

“You pratt – I’m not doing that.”

“Well I’m the author …”

“So …”

“So I decide what goes in my books.”

“And I’m the character and I know me better than you do and I’m telling you I’m not doing that.”

And invariably I have to rewrite the section because they are right, after all.

So, I have no favourites – they are all my favourites and I love them all – yes, all of them. And there’s a bit of them in all of me.